Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
