put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
