you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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