he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
