If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
