She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
