I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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