In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize