Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
