Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
