Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He shit in the fireplace
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
