He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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