saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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