I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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