if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
