sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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