I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
