where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
