I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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