Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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