Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
