you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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