I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
