so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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