It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize