you guys were way drunker than both of me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize