I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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