I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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