we have officially lost it.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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