Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize