whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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