It's Friday. Sex?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
