can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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