So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
