Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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