me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize