i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
