Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
