Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
