That's intense
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
