she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
