we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
