I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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