he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
