Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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