I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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