capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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