Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize