he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
