I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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