everyone is single if you try hard enough
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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