so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
