thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize