Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
