Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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