Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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