I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
