I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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