Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
