He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
