I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize